-Story Title: 5 out of 5 points. Good job with the title. It made me curious and it gives a description of the story. Just with the title, your readers will more than likely know that there might be drama in your story and romance.

-Description/Foreword: 4.5 out of 5 points. Your description and foreword are almost perfect. You described the characters well, put the summary but the deduction is because of the fact that you sort of threaded the anti-fans. Most anti-fans don't really read fanfiction about people that they don't like and it also show unprofessionalism on your part.

-Poster/Appearance/First impression(ex. Font style, color, pics, etc.): 10 out of 10 points. The font, colors, and everything about the appearance of the story is great and makes the story easy to read.

-Plot: 19 out of 20 points. I have seem this plot used a few times but I have to say that you did a good job in adding your own twist! The deduction here is simply because of the first chapter. I was very confused by the first chapter. You described Yuri's life a certain way and a second later her life is completely different. You wrote that she changed and explained how she changed but not why. It was hard to make sense of the chapter.

-Writing Style: 19 out of 20 points. There are parts of the dialogue just blends in with the rest of the story. For example, you wrote

"Then, I heard a honk. "YURI-AH!" Jaejoong shouted. I suddenly smiled and ran to his car. "Sorry I'm late." He said as soon as I got inside the car. I smiled. "It's okay." I said. But then frowned when I saw lipstick stains on his collar."

"It's okay." I said with a smile but frowned when I saw lipstick stains on his collar."

What I am trying to say is that your spacing is not always consistant. Aside from that, you don't have many mistakes an your grammar is not bad. I will say that there are some sentences that could be written differently and it would help the feel of the story for example,

"I smiled, thinking that I was his girlfriend, but frowned when it isn't even true" could also be written as "For a second, the thought of being his girlfriend made me smile but that smile dissapeared when I remembered that we were just friends with benefits."

-Flow: 6 out of 10 points. I took of points here for the fact that the story seems kind of rushed and you are jumping from one scene to another. The flashback that you have in chapter one would be better in the description or foreword. Yuri and Jaejoong meet in the first chapter and next thing we know he is taking her to a club and we have no idea how much time passed.