To The Boy I Love - SSZE_A501
Reviewer: Aljo
Title: 3.5/5
It's somewhat awkward to hear, but it's fine.
It is interesting especially when you find out it's a yaoi, it gets exciting.
Poster/Trailer: 9/10
I love simplicity! Problem is, it's too simple. Maybe a flower, or a letter somewhere
should spice it up some more. Also Youngmin's head is cut =)) It's not counted, I'm just saying.
But yeah it is too simple, it becomes obvious because of the size.
Description: NA
NA
Foreword: 10/10
Super sweet and interesting.
Character Profiles (if you got one): NA
NA
Plot: 36/40
I didn't quite understand the plot at first because there's no description.
I sort of got it at the prologue. And guess what... It's awesome! Yeah, it's interesting
but the idea is somewhat original, I've encountered stories like this.
Writing: 18/20
Don't repeat words in a sentence.
For example:
I was afraid of my feelings that I hid my feelings inside my heart and ran away from her.
It sounds weird, so just rephrase it. "I was afraid of my feelings, that I hid them inside my
heart and ran away from her."
For this phrase:
I can see your eyes were looking straight into my eyes having no hope of living in this world.
Repeating words again and one redundant word. "I can see your eyes looking straight into mine,
having no hope of living in this world."
A common mistake (I do this a lot) You switch from past tense to present tense.
And plenty more...
Chap. Titles: NA
Rated Scenes (if it has): NA
Ending (if completed): NA
NA
TOTAL: 76.5/85 = 90/100
Tuesday, August 16, 2011 5:10 AM back to top?