I Must Love You - yebin04

story link

Reviewer: Describe

Title: 2.5/5

It doesn't have much relevance to the plot, making readers uninterested to click on your story since they don't know what it is going to be about.

Poster: 4/5

The poster is rather okay, since it shows the major characters involved in it. The quotes are also relevant, intriguing enough to attract readers. The poster is quite simple, easily made, but I guess it's not your fault.

Description & Foreword: 6.5/10

I have given your description a 4 out of 5. The summary is great! However, avoid using emoticons like :P or ^^, it will sound unprofessional. At least you did not use it in your story chapter. Use them only in author notes. Also, you should move the character introduction to the foreword, it does not belong in the description box.

As for your foreword, I gave you a 2.5. The song lyrics are okay, but it does not leave readers hanging there, wanting to read more. Maybe WooU shippers will read it right away, but how about those who have never watched Dream High? You can put an excerpt or preview of the story, or maybe a cliffhanger to attract readers.

Characterization: 10/15

Generally okay, since the characters have been already set for you. I like Sanghyun's personality, it is rather unique for a guy to cry so easily. You have managed to maintain that character of his throughout the story, kudos to you!

You should try to add more details, especially on Jieun's appearance. We all know she's fat, that's it. Those who do not watch Dream High would have absolutely no idea how she look like. Also, when she came back from the Philippines, you should also describe her. Slim legs? Long hair? As a writer, it is your responsibility to describe the person's looks out so that people can imagine them successfully.

Feelings and inner thoughts are added into your story, great! Maybe you can add a little more so that the story can be more engrossed and into the story.

Plot originality: 7/15

Since the overall plot is taken from a drama, not much originality is there. There are many fan fictions also based on Dream High, and many of them are about Wooyoung and IU too. It is kind of expected what kind of ending there would be. However, you managed to save some of your marks here by adding your own ideas and characters. Maybe because there is only 10 chapters, not much twist is happening, making it sound boring and cliché.

Writing Style: 10/15

I have noticed that you usually start off a chapter with a flashback of their childhood, it is a great idea. I love it! However, try not to italicize the whole of the flashback as it makes it rather uncomfortable to read. I know you want to tell the readers that it is not part of the actual story, but maybe you can change the colour or simply put flashback as a header for it.

Secondly, avoid using symbols like ~~~. It is unprofessional and informal. The purpose of you putting those symbols is to make the speech sound more long and slow.

In chapter 3:

"Oppa~ O~ ppa~~~ Let's play~~~" little Jieun said, in a very cute way.

"Oppa! Let's play!" little Jieun whined cutely.

Make use of verbs like 'giggled', 'whined', 'complained' used in speech to express the texture or tone of the dialogue, instead of those irrelevant symbols. You can also show off your wide range of vocabulary at the same time!

Also, try not to use short forms like 'gonna', it wouldn't hurt to type out the whole thing 'going to' right? (refer to chapter 6).

You tend to use a lot of Korean in your dialogues too, which is acceptable for me. Some readers find it irritating though. Fortunately, you added a glossary at the end to tell readers the meanings of the Korean words. Bonus points!

Grammar & Spelling: 16.5/20

For grammar, I have given you a 9 out of 10. Some mistakes here and there, but not too glaring.

Chapter 4:

I don't know why but I felt lonely inside.

I didn't know why, but I felt lonely inside.

Today's the opening ceremony and ever since that day, I tried to avoid seeing Wooyoung oppa as much as I could.

Today is the opening ceremony and ever since that day, I have been trying to avoid seeing Wooyoung oppa as much as I can.

Chapter 6:

Jieun swinged her racket but didn't hit the ball... again.

Jieun swung her racket but it didn't hit the ball, again.

Not too major mistakes, but still do proof read your work more to achieve perfect grammar.

As for spelling, you have more mistakes, thus I have given you a 7.5 mark.

Chapter 5:

"Well... Yeah. I wanted to sing that song for someone so I chose it. But I'm not sure if my feelings got to him." Jieun said. As she said those words, she looked at me unconciously.

"Well yeah. I wanted to sing that song for song, so I chose it. But I'm not sure if my feelings got to him." Jieun said with a tinge of sadness. Unconsciously, she looked at me.

Chapter 8:

Because of the embarassment I felt for having that incident happen, I ignored his helping hand and stood up.

I felt embarrassed, and ignored his kindness by trying to stand up by myself.

He looked like little Wooyoung, with his mandu cheeks and small chinky eyes.

He looked like the little Wooyoung in my memories, with his mandu-like cheeks and small eyes.

I think that mandu is a type of Korean food right? Also chinky is spelled wrongly (no such word exists), but I don't even know what you are trying to say,

Chapter 9:

"Let's just meet at the movie theater later, okay?" Jieun said.

"Let's meet at the movie theatre, okay?" Jieun asked.

There are still other spelling errors that I didn't put here in the review. Do proof read your chapter before posting it up. Typing it in Microsoft Word first will make spelling mistakes noticeable more. If you are unsure, you can always check a dictionary.

Ending: -/5

No ending yet, it won't be counted into the total marks.

Overall Enjoyment: 7.5/10

I personally enjoyed the story, because I myself like the Milky couple too. The grammar and spelling mistakes are not that bad to the extent that it angers me, so kudos to you! I just find it hard to keep up with all the characters because some of them confuse me (Sanghyun and Suhyeon). Sometimes I don't even know who is who.

Total marks: 64/95 = 67.4/100

Don't be disappointed with your marks! It's above average. I guess the aspect that pulled you down is the plot originality since the whole concept is taken off a drama. Improve on your spelling more by checking your work! Good job!