Flawed Prince. – Ryojikari
Story Link
Reviewer: yiling245

Title: 5/5

It is a great title for your story, it attracts attention and it is short and sweet! I’ll love to read it too if I’d stumble upon it.

Description & foreword: 8/10

For the description, it was a little too short for my taste, but for the overall audience I guess it is somewhat alright since the quote in the description didn’t give out too much information nor keep in too much.

Well, for the foreword, it was perfect, in my opinion. If I am not wrong, the ‘poem’ in there was self written right? Give yourself a pat on the shoulder for that! It was surprising that you could write so well! Good job! I also liked the fact that you actually labelled your ‘rant’ as ‘author’s rant’ instead of just slapping it there as part of the foreword.

Plot: 10/15

The plot itself was a little cliché, with overused plots all over in the story. However, the main idea of the story itself was fairly original, talking about a prince with flaws, as well as a princess with the same flaws.

Characterization: 15/15

You managed to let each of your character’s personalities come out smoothly and I didn’t actually see any flaws in every character. They remain consistent and don’t jump about randomly. Good job!

Writing style + Grammar & spelling: 30/35

The reason for your loss of five marks was because of a few sentence structure errors here and there in the story. The grammar and spelling was flawless, if I was stringent enough.

Which one did he mean? Her book or her HEART? Well obviously and undeniable…BOTH.

Which one did he mean? Was it her book or her heart? Well, obviously and undeniably, it was both.

Write out thoughts in italics, so it would be less confusing for the readers as they will separate out the thoughts and the narration. Overall, good effort was put in and it is an extremely good job for this section! On a final note, your vocabulary is awesome.

Ending: 9/10

I liked how you ended off the story with a poem, if you call it that. It gives a light touch and it actually left me awing at the perfectness of the whole story. The flow leading to the end was not to fast nor slow, and the kiss made me amaze at how you wrote it out. Good job!

Overall enjoyment: 16/20

It was a great read, but the thing is, I don’t really ship any couple so hence the deduction of marks.

Total marks: 93/100

Your English is great and the plot was original! :D Sorry for the late review by the way, I had many tests going on this month.