He's an angel in my life - illusionist
Reviewer: Aljo
Title: 3/5
Well it's a bit cliche. It's nice but I guess I've seen the word 'angel' with 'life'
so many times now. It gives a nice sense of theme, and it seems right; fitting the story
and such.
Poster/Trailer: NA/10
NA
Description: 7/10
Don't put the spaces together, it makes reading confusing and bores people sometimes.
It's better if you don't use 'You:' because the first thing that could come in mind is this..
girl:
boy:
you:
Stuff like that.
And who is 'That guy?' It's just out of the blue. The description sounded like a cinderella
story and the prince is an angel...
Foreword: NA/10
Spaces again. I won't count this though, the score will be too low.
Character Profiles (if you got one): NA/5
NA
Plot: 31/40
It didn't really catch my attention, especially when I read the description.
Your story isn't somewhat original; there are a lot of stories relating to your plot
Writing: 14/20
Again with the spaces.
When you write the story, it's like writing a diary instead of narrating a story.
Also, there are some grammatical mistakes. For example: (Chapter 1) "Thanks" that's what all I could say,nothing more.
when it should be: "Thanks" That's all I could say, nothing more.
Se kyung sat towards the left while I sat towards the right. <--- sounds weird.
When there are names, make sure the first letter is capitalized.
Chap. Titles: 5/5
It's simple :D
Rated Scenes (if it has): NA/10
NA
Ending (if completed): NA/20
NA
TOTAL: 60/80 = 75/100
a/n. sorry for the low score :(
Tuesday, August 16, 2011 3:21 AM back to top?